It Does Not Matter How Slowly You Go As Long As You Do Not Stop
– Confucius –
Once You’ve Accepted Your Flaws, No One Can Use Them Against You– Peter Dinklage –
These days people no longer give a fuck about anybody or what they are going through, you tell me you’ve been where I’ve been, you’ve felt what I’ve felt and I don’t doubt you.
You say it’s took you 20 to 30years to be free of your anxiety, depression, doubts, pain, shame, worry but I can do mine and be free in just a few days,man seriously, you send me loads of crappy long paragraph pages to explain things that you think will help me.
You say I’m only doing this to help you so you can have a better life, I’ve helped so many athletes, ceos, military personnels, agents of all kinds, now I’m here to help you and its for free. So I’m thinking maybe he is really trying to help so I keep reading everything you’ve written and I feel as though you are for real.
After so many wasted efforts reading your junk paragraphs I start seeing $ signs, you say ceos pay me thousands of dollars for this but I’m not going to charge you much just $197 I say to myself maybe this was before not now I go on reading then I get to the ending and you say just because it’s you I’m going to give you this secret formal that can help you in minutes what it took you years to master can help me in minutes really man this shit again, for you it’s $97 at a limited offer. Now you are saying all my pain, depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, drug and alcohol abuse is worth $97.
If all your long paragraphs was all based on lies, so tell me why I should believe you that your secret formula will work when you couldn’t keep your promise in the first place. You prey on my vulnerability because you think I’m weak, helpless and alone, so why not give false hope and make myself rich. The funny part is people believe this type of shit and they subscribe to it. If you believe them good for you I don’t want to hear about it.
Fuck you for all the shitty things you said to me. Because of you I learnt to be resilient.
Fuck you for all the bad things you did to me and made me think I deserve. You have made me stronger so that I will be able to fight back.
Fuck you for taking me for granted. Now I know I deserve better than you.
Fuck you for abusing, shaming, ridiculing me. Because of you I learnt to be stronger than my abusers.
Fuck you for leaving me. Because of you I learnt to stand strong and stand firm.
Fuck you for breaking me. Now I know how strong I can be so you can never break me again.
Fuck you for saying I’m worthless and not enough. Because of you I know I’m worthy and more than enough.
Fuck you for dumping me.. Now I know I deserve better than you.
Fuck you for everything you ever did to me and made me think it was my fault. Now I know that I should not accept blames for things I didn’t do.
All my life I’ve known I’m different from everybody else and I looked different have you ever looked in the mirror and you hated what you saw the face looking back at you is not the one you want to see. The difference between you and everybody else was so obvious everybody’s face looked right, in good shape and normal but yours was something else. Bent to the corner as if you were not created by the same higher power. For years I’ve always felt that maybe I’m not supposed to exist, people laughed at me for the way I looked I had to lock myself up in the house and buried myself in movies and sad songs. I became depressed, then anxiety came in and rocked my world, I started getting scared of everything I could hear a voice from a thousand miles my heart will skip even without any danger. So it was better to stay in doors. I saw myself as an improper being like an outcast someone who did not belong I lived that way for years during this lock down I realized I can’t live that way for ever and that’s not a life that I want for myself so I’m still recovering, today I carried a little beautiful baby girl and I was just singing to her I felt really good about that. Then it hit me when I was a baby and had no idea about what a normal face or asymmetrical face looked like I was at peace maybe I can be at peace now and learn to enjoy life irrespective of how I look. Now my question is I’m I the only who looks different? I’m I totally alone in this world?
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Mama lived in fear all her life from being abused by dad and being neglected by her family, mama’s never known real love so when her kids show her what love is supposed to be she doubts and second guess their intentions. Mama is so scared to live her life even after her abuser is long gone leaving her alone to raise the kids all on her own with no help from anybody. Now she’s sick with a mental illness that magnifies her fears mama is so scared to die that she forgets you have to live first in other to die, now all she thinks about is somebody is out to get her or kill her, she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming you can’t kill me or my kids yet she refuses to get help because deep within her she thinks it’s not help that they want her gone instead. But what she doesn’t know is that she’s rubbing off on her little daughter who is now scared to live her life because she thinks she’s not good enough. Mama please get help so that I can know what it feels like to have a mom who can love me unconditionally without thinking I want to hurt her. I’m not trying to hurt you I’m just trying to help why don’t you understand,is it too hard for you to trust me.
The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. – Confucius –
It’s so fucked up that when we die we take nothing important with us other than the things that stopped us from living our lives fully we do not take our loved ones, money, social status, titles, debts, degrees, to name a few rather we take our constant over-thinking, worry, doubts, depression, anxiety, ego, other people’s opinions that we cherished, hate, fear but none of that matters. What really matters is what we live behind, what will they remember us by funny how some people die immediately they are buried they are forgotten some might even be glad that you are gone. Is that a life worth living?
My World So Full
A New Day To Die
Fearless Heart With No Faith
Children’s Broken Hearts
I Write To Free Myself
My Mind Is So Full
Dark And Gray
Enjoy The Process
His Wonders Is Infinite
Sacrificing For Another Day